First of all, I am so sorry if I am super inactive during the days in here in dA. Remember my last journal entry? (u probly dunno wat it is) I just wanna write this journal to make my future self proud(?) and remember that i am lucky(?) I just dunno what is the reason, why this exists. Butt yeah c: 

Sooo, I called out for help when I am having a problem on how I am going to express myself and my classmates saw it for some reason O_O And cheered me up ^_^ (Also the few people who commented there c: ) They told me there is nothing wrong on expressing myself on school and surprisingly, they didn't get to know who is the "girl" I was talking about. (There are two lesbians/bisexual in school btw) So I felt a wave of relief about that, until my bestfriend guessed it. Then my bestfriend called her out and half teased me that I have a crush on her. (Just to mention, we are practicing on a ball dance for our program) Then my crush (let's call her in the name "krispy kreme"), krispy kreme, asked me several times who is my crush. She expected to be a boy of course, since she didn't know I am a bisexual potato. I made up a lie saying, I have a crush on my ex-crush "Kyla". She is super surprised and did not believed me at first. She replied to me "How? Why? You're so calm, how are you not suspected?", she keeps saying that she couldn't believe it and became instant bestfriends with her ^_^ On that time, she was super uncomfortable at me because sometimes she's a little bit touchy and may develop feelings for me, coming out as a fellow lgbt person. Then all of the sudden my bestfriend, come up to us and said "Damnnn, she's going up for the kill!" and I am there like "SHUTDAFAKUP" She whispered something to krispy kreme, and made krispy kreme wonder again. Krispy kreme asked me again as we're walking up to a table to rest and stuff. She said "Mamaw (my bestfriend) said that Kyla's your ex crush" and then followed by a quite "Please tell me who it was." She's dead serious. Of course, stupid me didn't get the chance and said "Fine, it was Angel" also a lie. She didn't talked to me a little bit, and always break the silence just to move seats to our close friends. Kyla and me was seating beside, while Mamaw and Krispy kreme is behind us. Mamaw keeps saying that I should say the truth to krispy, but I always deny it. Until Mamaw said to krispy kreme the truth. When we return into our seats, she (krispy) showed something written into her hand. Her name was written on it. She asks me "Realtalk?" She is super serious to me, and the butterflies starts to haunt me again. I denied it once again, because I know she still loves her ex (which is a girl too). 

Then after one day afterclass, she meets up with me again at the basketball court. I was surprised when krispy and my another bestfriend, Lui, was talking. Krispy saw me and tapped the seat next to her where she wanted me to sit. As I sat down, my freaking bestfriend left us alone there hanging. Then she started, "You know, you should have said to me earlier. Lui said all of it." Then I went super anxious and play dumb. I asked "About what?" She looked at me directly in the eyes and said "You already know it" We froze their like a solid 2 minutes. Then she decided to break the silence and said "What will you do if I said, I have feelings to you too. What if I said, me and my ex broke up 3 months ago?" I freaking froze like an idiot there. Then I said, "Alright fine. I do have feelings for you since september." Then she hugged me and said "Can I court you?" At that moment I was super freaking happy about it. Of course I accepted it. She was happy about it too. She hold my hand without hesitation and said "Don't worry I will not leave you alone, ever again." Days pass, the prom night started and she asks me if we can be together as in a girl/girl relationship. I accepted it and we're still strong until this very day . She is now my girlfriend/boyfriend, and we showed the school about it. Of course we are aware about the rules, but I am glad only the highschool students know about it and did not report us about it ^_^ Soo yeah that's all I wanted to share :3 

I know I am Bi but I always think I am a lesbian, and I am so confused about it. I have been developing feelings for someone (a girl) since Sept. 11 (which is my school's anniversary). I admire her so much because she's good at playing guitar and playing basketball. What's more surprising is, she's a lesbian too. Knowing that information about her, she have a girlfriend in the past but her girlfriend switched school since her parents don't like her (the girl I had a crush on), and are religious. Our school doesn't like PDA (Public Display Affection), especially Girl to girl and boy to boy (You know what I mean). I started having butterflies in my stomach and acting weird when she's nearby. Sometimes I catch myself thinking about her and being insecure about my appearance towards to her. I don't know if I love her or just be friends with her. Fearing that my family will judge me about my sexuality, and make me a stranger to them for just being a lesbian. Yet, I still have interests in boys and follow my school's rules (my school is a christian school, by the way). But having my feelings haunting me, it makes me scared and feel weird about myself. (Don't get me wrong, I love gay and lesbian people.) Can someone please console me and ease me on making decisions?

I am going to change my un, after six months being in here on dA. Any un ideas? I am planning to change into "abutthurtperson"

E: just realized Chlaw was right, cringing so hard right now qwq

         


tagged me ;w;


RULE 1. 
You can only say Guilty or Innocent.

RULE 2. 
You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages/comments and asks!

Copy and paste this into your journal, delete my answers, type in your answers, and tag 5-10 of your friends to answer this. Then see what happens.

         

ples send mi ur ref (doing it on human form though)

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